neurotwitch

the best annual list (only one that means anything)

Merry new year. And now, without further ado, the only meaningful annual list (comments trimmed a bit because it would’ve been too long):

Lake Superior State University 2005 List of Banished Words

BLUE STATES/RED STATES – Who’s who, anyway?

FLIP FLOP/FLIP FLOPPER/FLIP FLOPPING – They belong at the beach, not in a political dialogue.

BATTLEGROUND STATE – “During an election, every state is a battleground.”—Austin White, West Hartford, Conn.

“… AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE” – Received the most nominations of the words and phrases that came out of the presidential election.

POCKETS OF RESISTANCE – “Are we talking about someone not buying a round of drinks or people shooting at each other?” – Rob of Crawley, West Sussex, UK.

IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE – As opposed to what used to be referred to as a bomb or mine.

ENEMY COMBATANT – “Makes no sense. Do we have friendly combatants? Neutral combatants? Or how about enemy bystanders? If they are your enemy, just say so.” – Bill Sellers, Hampton, Va.

CARBS – low carbs, high carbs, no carbs, carb-friendly… Meant ‘carburetor’ in a previous life. Needs to be purged from our system.

YOU’RE FIRED! – “…and the little hand movement, too!” – Jason Ranville, State College, Penn.

ÜBER – Nominated by many over the past few years.

‘IZZLE’ – SPEAK – By far, the abomination that received the most nominations. Some sort of ‘Rap-Latin’ suffix, as in fa’shizzle, which means ‘for sure.’

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION – “Janet Jackson’s bodice did not ‘malfunction,’” says John Wetterholt, Woodstock, Ill. “Justin Timberlake pulled too much and too far and I could hear the cogs turning in his publicist’s head trying to come up with that excuse!”

BLOG – and its variations, including blogger, blogged, blogging, blogosphere. Many who nominated it were unsure of the meaning. Sounds like something your mother would slap you for saying.

WEBINAR – for ‘seminar on the web.’

ZERO PERCENT APR FINANCING – sending a dollar to do a nickel’s worth of work. Michael Hehn, Ferrysburg, Mich. “They could just say ‘no interest.’

SAFE AND EFFECTIVE – “Try the new, clinically proven, safe and effective wonder drug you never knew you needed … Safe and effective should not be a selling point, it should be an FDA requirement!” CW Estes, Roanoke Texas.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION – Do we need to hear about it daily on TV and radio, even on racecars? Firmly rejected by the committee.

JOURNEY – “Every single person on every reality show comments on how amazing the ‘journey’ was. Since when does dating a dozen nerds over a six-week span or conniving to win a million dollars over 15 other people qualify as a ‘journey’”? – Cindy, Victoria, British Columbia.

BODY WASH – “Also known as ‘soap.’”—Ray Hill, Jackson, Mich.

SALE EVENT – “Year-end sales are now ‘sales events.’ Now most have shortened it to ‘event.’ Does the sale exist any longer? ‘Hey, nice new Chevy, Bob!’ ‘Thanks, it was on event at the dealer last week.’” – Allan Dregseth, Fargo, ND.

ALL NEW – referring to television shows … “Of course it’s all new. Why can’t they just say ‘new’? There are no partially-new episodes, no repeat of last Tuesday’s episode with a slightly reworked Act 2.” – Greg Ellis, Bellevue, Wash.

AND MORE! – The merchants way of giving you something “value added.”

You, too, can submit a word for banishing by logging on to the LSSU website. They have plenty of time to read it all. Seriously, what else is there to do in Sault Ste. Marie, MI during the winter? Forget skiing—it’s flat there. Ice fishing maybe. Watching the freighters get stuck in the Soo Locks?

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