the evil eye, the bowling ball, and the great big spider

Eowyn.jpgWe celebrated the end, at long last, of 2003 by finally going to see LOTR: Return of the King. And I gotta say this--it was great. My favorite character was Eowyn, a warrior woman who actually does something besides look all wistful and pretty (like Liv Tyler's elf). She should've gotten the guy--doesn't seem fair somehow that she didn't. (I don't remember if I had an issue with this when I read the book as it's been so long since I read it, I don't even know if she was actually featured this prominently. Like, it was thirty years ago that I read it, jeez.)

There were some things that didn't quite work, like Orlando Bloom's acrobatics on that elephant thing. And I grew deadly tired of Elijah's (Frodo's) tortured expression. I think his earnest big blue bug eyes will give me nightmares. But I liked just about everything else except the length of time it took to complete things like saving what's-his-name from being burned by his daddy, and the fight with that spider (that really gave me the creeps, especially since I was bitten by a spider a couple of weeks ago, which hurt like hell), and the ending, which lasted, oh, about 45 minutes.

The Orcs and the other creatures in the bad army were extremely interesting. But the beginning of this movie (ROTK, I mean) was pretty confusing--I didn't know what the hell was going on, or where they were or what. A year is too long for me to remember the last scene of a movie (the second one, I mean, whatever that one was called)--I needed a review (though I suspect Stanley did not). I guess I should take more gingko.

The costumes were stunning. Of course, I am partial to Celtic imagery and symbols, so I really liked the clothing and banners. But I especially like the helmets of the good guys. And the swords were very pretty.

I wonder if anyone else thought there were some subplots that could've been dispensed with. I mean, the whole Steward of Gondor thing and the above-mentioned roasting of Son #2. Didn't add anything and it sure didn't explain anything. Or if it did, I missed it. And why did Liv Tyler have to prod Agent Smith into giving Viggio that elf sword, anyway? Would he have let them all perish? And what became of Eowyn? Did she settle for the mad steward's son instead of Viggio? And why did the orb thing have to look like a bowling ball--that kinda wrecked that whole thing for me. I expected to see three holes in it as it rolled across the floor.

It was worth the time to see this movie (nearly 3.5 hours!) And since we saw it at a matine, it worked out to be about less than $2.00 per hour each to be hugely entertained. I'm just very glad I stopped drinking coffee early enough for it not to have been a problem that it was sooo looong. So, before you go, be warned: review at least the ending of Part II so you know what the hell is going on at the beginning, and don't drink anything that will make you need to pee because there really is no good time to take a break.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/01/04 at 02:38 AM
  1. Lee -

    Have you seen the extended editions of The Fellowship Of The Ring and The Two Towers?  They round out the subplots much better than do the original theatrical releases, so they help clear up the beginning RotK.

    Kirstin and I went to see the extended editions of both films on the two Fridays leading up to the opening of RotK - the Uptown Theatre in DC is a classic movie palace, the perfect place for “Lord Of The Rings” stuff.  The extended editions are also available on DVD, and are well worth watching before you see RotK again.

    Also, keep in mind that Peter Jackson edited 1:05 from the released version of RotK, so there are some dangling ends throughout the film.

    In terms of stuff that bothered me:

    - The destruction of the ring in Mt. Doom.  In the book, Gollum falls on his own, lost in his obsession over the ring.  The whole Frodo and Gollum fighting thing just didn’t cut it for me.

    - The Shelob scene (spider) just wasn’t as scary to me after the spider scene in Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets.  The Potter film made a much more creepy effect with their myriad arachnids.

    - I really missed the subplot of Saruman the White, after being forced from his tower, going to The Shire and taking out his wrath on the hobbits.  Apparently this was filmed, and will appear in the extended edition DVD.

    Happy New Year!

    Posted by Rudi Riet  on  01/01  at  07:54 PM
  2. If I want to spend another 15 hours of my life on LOTR, I’ll just read the book again! I know a few people who went to the day-long showings (some even in costume)—that’s way more dedication than I could muster (though Stanley might, but not in costume ... )

    The spider in Harry Potter WAS much better, you’re right! Though when I saw that, I hadn’t been recently bitten by a spider, which I think influenced my reaction to Shelob.

    I read that they’re showing ROTK with an intermission in Europe. If movies are longer than 3 hours, intermissions should be mandatory. Even workplaces are required to give you a free potty break.

    Posted by lee  on  01/02  at  11:31 PM
  3. Rudi, Do I know you?
    Have you ever been to St Louis?
    If yes, hit me up on ICQ: 136547585.
    If not - sorry you just remind me of someone.

    Posted by Christian  on  02/03  at  05:30 AM
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